How I quit my job.
Chance and I on Thanksgiving 2020. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and he let me open a present early, it was this vintage yellow sweater.
I’d love to tell you that quitting my job was an easy decision and that it happened quickly. The truth is, it was the sum of so many small sacrifices, adjustments, and decisions over the last decade.
Because Chance and I had been living together at such a young age (he was 17, I was 18), we had to figure out our finances, budgeting, and making ends meet extremely quickly. We were both students and working full time to support ourselves and life was hard. We struggled daily. We were exhausted and beyond burnt out. We were in survival mode. We had nothing but hand me down furniture which featured an aqua futon as a couch and a particle board microwave cart we used to hold one of those giant tube television sets. We didn’t have cable, but we did have the complete set of That 70’s Show on DVD. It was a simple existence and we figured out a lot in those early years. We grew to appreciate home cooked meals, freshly washed laundry (that lived in piles on the floor or the bed), and every little item we bought ourselves to grow our home.
It wasn’t until our second year (2009-2010) of marriage where things started to become easier. We had a system to budget our finances over the next several months. We had a small savings and planned all of our meals and grocery lists in advance. We even started to have money to enjoy simple things like going to the movies. We were thriving and even bought our first home. Chance was laid off from BNSF railroad and was currently training to be a Lubbock Police Officer and I was working in property management in a dusty West Texas town. Three weeks after we moved into our new home with the ultra steep driveway and newly sodded yard, we found out we were expecting. On top of that, Chance was offered a position back as a conductor for BNSF but the job would be in Denver. We ultimately decided the insurance alone was worth renting out our brand new home in Texas and starting over again in Colorado.
Once Livi was born we decided it was best to move back to New Mexico so she could grow up with her extended family and build relationships with her grandparents. Moving back home was good and bad. The railroad lifestyle came with a lot of financial freedom and luxury. We built a home and life encompassed by debt and our monthly expenses skyrocketed with two vehicle payments and a larger mortgage, let alone diapers. Lots and lots of diapers. I still made a menu and prepared grocery lists, only I’m spending almost $500 more in food a month. I should also mention that I am a stay at home mom at this time too so Chance was the only income.
Our lives were shattered shortly after an accident with the railroad happened in 2011 and we found ourselves struggling to survive a couple years later. Over the span of ten years we went from nearly a six figure income to cutting it in half and maintaining our new lifestyle hovering at a take home income of $39,000 a year. We brought home a little more than $3000 a month and the cost to keep up our home (mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities) cost us almost $2500. We had to make serious lifestyle and household changes, and FAST, in order to survive.
Here are some of the things our family did in order to make ends meet. Some of things we did instantly and some of them took years for us to implement.
We had to decrease our monthly expenses and obligations QUICK. First to go was cable services and altering our cell phone plans. We only had netflix for years and we still do not have unlimited data on our phones. Also, we always upgraded to whatever version of the device was free. So we were continuously 2-3 years behind everyone else when it came to our phones.
Making 100% of your meals from scratch. This is inconvenient and takes a lot of time. But it tastes so much better, becomes a family bonding activity and even turns into a hobby, and the ingredients are whole.
Most of our meals were meatless and vegetarian to save money on groceries. We have found countless ways to prepare dried pinto beans.
We made a soup or stew every sunday and the leftovers covered most of our lunches for the rest of the week. We also consume almost all of our leftovers to not waste any food.
Make a menu for your entire pay period. And then make a grocery list based only on what you need to make these meals. And then stick to the list when you go shopping. A lot of those impulse items add up fast. One time we only had $17 to feed our three guinea pigs and three humans for an entire week. We had many weeks like this and our entire household survived. Even with such an EXTREMELY tight budget we were not deprived.
We cut out all paper products from our grocery budget. Paper towels and napkins are a waste of money. Even with more financial freedom now, we still use cloth napkins (that I made years ago!) and dish towels.
Clipping coupons really saved us a lot of money for non-food items. I used to have a binder organized by aisle in the store and everything.
Buying in bulk when it is on sale. It is much more beneficial to buy ten pounds of meat at $1 a pound and freezing it than to buy one pound for $5. Then we would make our menu based on what meat we had on hand and frozen.
We invested $20 in a hair clipper and I have been giving Chance his haircuts for over ten years now.
Hand-Making all of our gifts. Period. The entire family, including ourselves received handmade items for YEARS. These are also by far the gifts that everyone looks forward to.
We reduced our monthly vehicle expenses. We had a brand new 2012 Ford Escape and 2012 Ford F150. We were obligated to over $1300 a month in vehicle expenses. I looked into bankruptcy because we desperately needed to reduce our expenses and even the bankruptcy lawyer said it wouldn’t help us much. Ultimately we didn’t have credit card debt that was suffocating us and with bankruptcy we would have to get rid of a vehicle. So I went to dealership with the truck and was completely honest upfront with the salesman: “We bought this vehicle during a different financial situation and things have changed. We have terrible credit but always make our car payments and house. We ultimately cannot afford this truck anymore and need to decrease our monthly amount. I don’t care what we have as long as it goes from point A to point B.” They were so understanding and helped get us into a new vehicle that same day and reduced our monthly payments by over $400 because our insurance and registration decreased as well. It wasn’t a car we wanted or loved, but it was a solution to a very big problem.
I made 90% of Olivia’s clothing, birthday cakes, and decorations until she was 3 years old. I realise not everyone can sew, bake, or craft, but it was a skill that seriously helped us in our time of need.
We found cheap or free activities to make sure Olivia did not have a deprived childhood. Parks, picnics, splash pads, public swimming pools, matinee movies, waterplay in the back or front yard, camping in the living room with a real tent, lots and lots of art, baking too was constantly happening in our home, bike rides, zoo, golfing at the municipal course, board games and outdoor toys, manis and pedis at home, and so much more.
I did everything possible to make extra money: Garage sales, paintings, photography, babysitting, baking/creative summer classes for kids (our small town was very limited in summer fun activities), baking cakes and extreme caking, designing and sewing children clothing, crocheting, painting interiors of homes. Literally, anything I was available to do, I didn’t turn it down.
After so many years in survival mode and barely getting more than 4 hours of sleep a night because of all the extra jobs we had to do to make ends meet, I ultimately let the house go. We simply could not afford it anymore. It took a good year for me to accept this option (and I know it’s not possible for many) because I loved our home so much. But I realized it was just a house and there will be another one. The people in my life were more important than all of the stuff we surrounded ourselves with. All of the stuff, the house included, were not worth working this hard for when I was no longer LIVING. I was too busy hustling and there was no time left to enjoy the company of my mister and daughter anymore. So we ended up losing everything, by choice, and needed a fresh start. We needed to go somewhere with more opportunity and possibilities. Las Vegas was our fresh start and I do not regret it one bit. Yes we lost our house and the life we knew, but life is so much better now.
It was 2017 when we left New Mexico I did the same thing with renting a home as I did when we trading in our truck. I was up front with the real estate agent about our financial situation over the phone before she wasted her time with us. I was honest and said, “Our credit is crap but we never missed a house payment.” Luckily she was extremely understanding and agreed to rent to us even though she already had 30 applicants on the home that was available. Now our home expenses decreased by over $1000 a month. We went from almost 3000 square feet to barely over 1200. I actually hated this home when we looked at then back then but it was our only option. Now we have been in this home for four years and I’m beyond grateful for the risk our real estate agent took on us.
After continuing to live so frugally, my mister was able to return to school and focus on a new career path while being a stay at home father. We had all of our needs mets and a handful of wants and I was just so appreciative of what we actually had. This is why I chose to hang up all the art we made and love to surround us in color and joy. We have everything we need with each other and I can’t help but smile when I look at the new home we have built together. It’s small and cramped at times, but it’s warm, inviting, welcoming, cozy, bright, cheerful, and exactly what we needed then and now.
Investing more on experiences. I bought a vintage popcorn maker to have fancy movie experiences at home. Sure, it cost roughly $150 up front, but we are saving $50-$75 per movie night to be able to recreate an experience at home. Same thing applies to many of our kitchen items. We invested heavily in tools and small appliances to recreate things at home that we would otherwise have to get as a speciality (blender for smoothies and frozen coffees, griddle and waffle iron for diner breakfast, pitcher to make cold brew at home, fire pit to make smores and memories at home, sushi mat to make our favorite rolls, etc.)
Looking at every purchase as an investment. Living frugally does not equal living cheaply. I would rather pay more for anything with better quality than have to buy something multiple times. An example would be work boots. It’s better to spend the $150 on quality shoes/boots that you do not have to replace than to buy the cheap alternative and have to replace it multiple times and ultimately spending more than the better quality pair to begin with.
One piece of advice I will tell you is that even when times are tough, just look around. You have more than you realise. And sometimes what you’re fighting for isn’t worth the fight anymore. Goals and plans can change and half the battle is accepting it. A fresh start was exactly what I needed. Good Mornings started as a hobby and was not a means for extra income when I started. It just happened to take off and more and more people were interested in my designs. When I started to make a third of my income consistently (three months in a row) my husband and I agreed it would be worth the risk to quit my job and see how much income I could generate when I could dedicate my full attention to it. After almost a year of working full time for Good Mornings I am quickly out pacing my husband’s tech industry income and am trending to hit six figures next year. If we didn’t make all of these changes in our finances and home over the last decade I don’t feel like this opportunity and business would have happened. I would have continued to be miserable and stuck in the rat race of hustling 24/7 just to maintain the materialistic lifestyle that I didn’t even enjoy. Being dirt poor and basically homeless was the best thing that has ever happened to us. And even though we now make more annually than we ever have in our lives, we still chose to live frugally.
ps. When you are living so tightly and counting your pennies, do not completely deprive yourself. Total deprivation is not sustainable. Every budget can afford a treat. Sometimes it looked like $10 spent on frozen yogurt for the entire family, other times it was $3 on happy hour drinks at Sonic, and sometimes it was saving $400 over a year to buy tickets to see Alton Brown’s Eat Your Science Tour as a surprise gift for the family.
pps. I do not believe we were lucky with trading in our truck, getting my transfer for work (that’s another story), or with renting our home in Vegas. I firmly believe that if you share your story or situation people are more likely to work with you, help you, or “see what they can do.” Everyone has a story and we all crave connection. I guarantee that if you share your struggles instead of being ashamed of them, people are more understanding and can relate to you on a personal level. I’m not saying make excuses or try to take advantage of people, but if you are honest and open you will find more opportunities and solutions than if you continue to avoid the real issues.
Thanksgiving 2021 was so much fun. I met Yoyo through Good Mornings and she has quickly become one of my best friends. It was so wonderful to spend the holiday with her and her husband, Gavin. It was the best Thanksgiving ever.